


UnderTale AUs being Stupid because I can.

by orphan_account



Category: Deltarune (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ... - Freeform, Dreamtale, Freshtale - Freeform, HorrorTale, No magical dicks, Swapfell, ____Tale, aftertale, fellswap, just fluffy fluff I guess, no angsty angst, okay I saw that phrase on Tumblr I had to, or wiggly hentai joy worms, pot brownies, reapertale, there's not even kissing, underswap - Freeform, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-06 05:30:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20286184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A bunch of stupid short drabbles most likely without actual legit endings. I might add tags, tell me if I miss any...





	1. Blueberry Finds a Questionable quiz on the internet...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blueberry finds internet BDSM quiz and everyone takes it yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My head canons:  
-Old Universe dwellers are semi friendly outside of fighting and stuff because yeah  
-Blue is crazy  
-Honey plays along with his shenanigans but likes to pretend he's cute and innocent  
-Blue is older than Honey  
-I blame the fandom for making Afterdeath so fucking kinky
> 
> Sooooo Blue just has practically half the AUs at a sleepover.

“Hey guys!” The much too energetic small skeleton waved a laptop at the group of ‘friends’ sitting in a circle on the floor of his bedroom. He plopped down on the colorful pillow he claimed after most of the others were destroyed in a pillow fight. Blue didn’t mind though, as he was the main culprit behind it in the first place. He smiled deviously as his fingers plucked out a (sizable) knife that somehow got lodged in the stuffings of his pillow. “Guess what I found on the internet?”  
He had decided to throw a sleepover for the Star Sanses and Nightmare’s gang with whomever they wanted to bring. In the end, so many AUs were invited that Blue couldn’t even remember all their names. He was lucky the house was still even remotely intact. Some of the guest were, uh, less than friendly with each other, but the magnificent host knew just the thing to bring people together.  
The laptop dramatically flew open.  
“We shall complete a puzzle. Whoever scores the highest gets to dare me, the Magnificent Sans, to do whatever they want.”  
Error peeked dubiously over Blue’s shoulder at the computer screen.  
“What the actual fuck Blueberry?” The expression on the glitch’s face was priceless. His glitches doubled within seconds. They room abrupt in questions as everyone- which was a lot of people- tried to see what the screen said.  
“A BDSM quiz!” Ink snorted. “Sounds like fun! What’s the name of the site?”  
Upon hearing this, the entire room froze to stare at Blueberry. Honey’s cigarette fell out of his gaping mouth where he sat in the corner of the room, previously on his phone. A few guests choked on their own spit and Red took a sip of mustard just to spit it onto an unsuspecting Dust, who proceeded to try and strangle the edgy skeleton. It looked honestly funny as hell when they’re both wearing ridiculous pajamas. Dust’s even had bunny ears on them.  
“I didn’t know you had it in you, Blue,” Lust was the first to break the ice, breaking out in laughter.  
Nightmare looked over to his brother with an expression showing something in between Are-you-fucking-sure-this-is-Swap-Sans and we’re-in-this-maniac’s-house. Dream only shrugged in response, having gotten used to the insanities of his two friends a long time ago.  
“Everybody get out their phones! I should’ve made a group cha and sent you all the ink already.” Blueberry announced with an innocently happy expression, unfaltering. He stole a glance of Honey, who looked like he’d been scarred for life by this display put on.  
“Where did you hear about, uh, BDSM?” Honey asked darkly, perceivably promising murder with his gaze. Blue sighed.  
“You should remember that I’m older than you, Papy.” The short little skeleton informed his brother, clearly unimpressed. “I’m not stupid. Plus, I’m friends with Ink. I would’ve found out sooner or later what with him and Error now “meeting up” basically every other day.” He thought to add, putting into it the most innocent tone he could muster, which would’ve been impressive for even a five year old, and blinking with his best puppy eyes. The Destroyer in question made protesting noises that shouldn’t have been possible for any vocal chords to make whilst the Guardian in question snickered with a faint rainbow blush on his skull. Honey cursed the immortality of both monsters.  
Blueberry inwardly laughed at the reactions he managed to coax out of everyone before clearing his nonexistent throat.  
“So is everyone ready?” Mumbles of assent greeted them, even Honey decided to participate, causing Blue to let out his signature “mweheheh” when he noticed.  
They took the quiz. Many Papyruses and Alphyses blushing with their swapped counterparts. Lust taking it upon himself to loudly read one of the questions whenever it got too quiet.  
By the time most had finished the quiz, Ink-the lightweight- was half drunk from some vodka he had managed to stuff into his pillow earlier and slumping on a flustered looking Error, who was halfheartedly trying to avoid his sloppy kisses and looking like he could strangle everyone in the room. Which he probably would’ve if not for the sort-of treaty they all agreed upon entering: whoever kills someone gets skewered by the rest of them. Most of the multiverse dwellers have been around too long to even think twice about joining a sleepover with their worst enemies, so it shouldn’t be (much) of a problem.  
Weapons were allowed though.  
Everyone shared answers. It went according to the following, only the top three are listed:

Ink: Bondage:100% Dominant:99% Brat tamer:98% with a surprisingly long list of highly scored kinks…

Error: Submissive:96% Brat: 96% Rope Bunny:87%. A truly perfect match for the Guardian. Slightly concerning. He had to have is phone wrestled out of his hands by the formerly mentioned skeleton and yelled across a captive audience. Apparently, everyone wanted to see how their love life would go… Blueberry wasn’t shocked at all, having known the two for so long. Basically everyone else was, excluding Lust, who claimed to have known ever since he laid eyes on both of them. 

Geno (from an AU where he didn’t glitch into an error obviously): Submissive:100% Rope Bunny:99% Brat and Degradee tying at 99%… Also with a list worth mentioning… It seems that everyone knows where Error got his kinks from now… Both glitches sport a fair masochism percentage as well. 

Death: Dominant:100% Bondage: 99% Brat tamer/Degrader also at 99%. It seems that he and Ink are alike in surprising ways. Both have a pretty high sadism percentage too… This is concerning information, but at least they seem to be bonding(platonically) over it. 

Dream: Vanilla:98% Submissive and Dominant, weirdly, tied at:51% Masochist: 22%. He has no comment for any of the results, pretending not to see Cross’ purple flush. 

Cross(who blushed intensely upon hearing Dream’s): Vanilla:99% Dominant:56% Prey hunter: 36%. Kind of lame compared to the previous contestants, not including Dream. He adamantly refused to share the numbers until Dream begged him with his starry eyes. The poor chump had his entire face dusted with purple the whole time Dream read it out for him. 

Honey: Daddy/Mommy:98% Discipline: 95% Dominant: 76%. The tall skeleton still seemed reluctant and awkward announcing this in front of his brother. 

Blueberry: Discipline:99% Daddy/Mommy:97% Sadism and Bondage both at 98%. He enunciated every syllable, as he usually did, in that naive, cheery voice, making it all the more disturbing. Honey was absolutely horrified. Sort of. It’s not that he had not known of his brother’s more, unorthodox side. He should know better than anyone…He was just used to pretending and going along with Sans’ feigned innocence. So much so that it felt unnatural not to. Lust’s expression morphed into one of I-knew-it-all-along. 

Lust’s scores, however, was the most shocking. There was nothing above an 80%. The list was so astonishingly short that most had thought he was joking. He looked away bashfully. 

And that, was all the important characters. Except Nightmare’s gang, who refused to share at all, simply settling for giggling within their own circle. It was comical to see those who fought to savagely on the battlefield reduced to nothing more than snorting heaps, poking fun at each other, albeit with sharp(very very sharp) weapons.  
The Fell universes actually looked scared of this Blueberry, even the swaps. They would not be able to sleep easy for some time…  
In the end, the highest scorers were Ink, Geno, and Reaper, in this exact order. Their end scores (from adding up all their kinky percentages) put the rest to shame.  
As mentioned far above, this was meant to be a contest. And would anyone like to guess what Ink dared Blueberry to do?  
To Honey’s dismay, his pot browny stash was raided. What came next was nothing short of the havoc that was the X-event. Everybody had to limp home the next day. The Swap brothers were now newly homeless. Let’s just say that this was an experience Ink, to this day, had yet to be able to forget….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't even bother reading over this one. Just cuss me out if you see any mistakes. I get that there are inconsistencies as well, dun judge me school just started and I did this for fun. Oh yeah, if anyone comments and says they want to see the pillowfight, I'll write it.


	2. Ink and Error being stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had writer's block and so I thought: Oh it might be nice if I made something stupid because why not. So this happened.

“My stupidity is too stupid to even be called stupid,” I stated without twitching an eye. “Which makes it ingenuity.”

Damn Error looked like he was about to EXPLODE.Fucking explode. This was the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. Hi-La-rious. Error crinkled his forehead into these tiny, adorable little wrinkles that shouldn’t have been possible even if we weren’t skeletons. I only laughed harder as I remembered how this face was probably the last thing so many AUs and its inhabitants had seen before they all turned to dust and got wiped away without a trace.

Call me a maniac, but somehow, that’s just incredibly funny to me. I mean, he had killed me a few times as well sure. It’s not like I stay dead though. I was never really able to “relate” with the many people anyway. Like, brah, I have no emotions brah. Without my paints at least.

Hey that makes two of us I guess.

“Y-You Fuckface!” He screamed at me, putting his hands below his eyelids in an attempt to cover up the bright yellow blush spreading to his cheeks…or maybe it was in indecision of whether he should pull out those strings of his and strangle me. Either way, I had already forgotten what I’d said in the first place to bring us to this point. My breathing finally returned to normal. Just in time too, as I barely had the time to dodge a wave of bones flying half-heartedly at me.

“Are you sure that I’M the fuckface here?” Now that was something I do clearly remember…

I must have had that ‘perverted smirk’ on my face again, as Error likes to call it.

“Y-ARGHHHHH!” He FREAKED. He’s kinda cute when he’s mad.

“And I haven’t even said anything kinky.” I chuckled, avoiding yet another round of projectiles. “Yet…”

This is going to be so fun.


	3. Prismatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Template/Pale fluffiness. Pale's birthday!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this some time ago, wanting an excuse to use the word of the day from I don't even know anymore. soooo loolllllll

It’s been a month since Template first started trying to ‘help’ Pale. It’s been a week since he’s started losing hope.

Template been taking to visiting Pale everyday, bringing new things, dragging him places. They’ve been trying out new hobbies together, hoping, on Template’s part, that the soulless monster would somehow manage to grasp emotion. So far, it wasn’t working.

Pale hasn’t shown any significant response to the things Template’s made him try so far: Sports, crafting, board games, trips to AUs, food, even Karaoke (which ended up being Template getting drunk on apple juice and hiccuping into the microphone while Pale stares blankly at the screen and eventually walking back to the Anti-Void with Template slung over his shoulder. Granted, Pale did something, but Template was not too keen on repeating the experience, having somehow obtained a hangover from the aforementioned apple juice). Nothing, despite Template’s thorough research on everything Ink, who was technically Pale’s closest counterpart, would like to do. It was a long list, but nothing ever managed to trigger an indicative response from the subject of this ‘treatment’. It irked Template to see Pale so still, so lifeless. Everyday, the white skeleton would just… sit there. He is; he exists, but he does not live.

Today, it’s going to be different, Template tried to tell himself, without much success, as he stomped up to the motionless figure in the infinite white of the Anti-Void.

“Pale!” He announced, feigning enthusiasm. “We’re gonna go somewhere special today. I’ll prove that you can feel, even without a soul.”

No reply, unsurprisingly.

Deciding that words would be a waste of time, Template wrapped a cloth he produced out of his pocket around Pale’s eye-sockets, literally dragging him through the portal he created with Penny, his weapon, a literal giant pen, then, literally, throwing him onto a couch, gently of course. Pale was being cooperative, as usual, seeing no reason to deny the strange treatment. Neither were very experienced with social interaction. Pale remained unresponsive, hearing some shuffling and quiet cursing as Template tried to navigate through the darkness. After what felt like an eternity of fumbling to Template, the lights clicked to reveal a huge living room decorated with elaborately hand-made banners and ribbons with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” painted on some. The sound of mini party streamers ripped through the air, its confetti landing on the impressive stack of presents in front of the sofa, which completely hid Template from view. 

“Surprise!” Template screamed at the top of his lungs, tossing aside the smoking plastic shell of a few streamers with some confetti still clinging to his clothes, before realizing that Pale, no matter how emotionless, would have disappointingly missed the entire thing due to the strip of fabric blocking his eye-lights. He mentally slapped himself. “On second thought, I probably shouldn’t have blindfolded you. Dammit, you missed it.”

Template awkwardly maneuvered around the pile of presents, babbling on about how stupid it was of him to forget about the blindfold of all things and how he already had the lights off. Template shouldn’t have thrown it in the first place. He didn’t even know Pale’s birthday, or his own, for that matter, so he just picked a random day and put some elements from every birthday party he liked into it, seeing as neither has ever had one before. Template was hoping that maybe something from the presents he’d gathered would trigger some sort of reaction; he had a large variety. It would work this time, it had to. Template was running out of ideas. The weeks spent in tedious preparation and meticulous detailing, it seemed pointless now, but no matter, he would not allow his diminishing hope to sabotage this party.

Template glanced up briefly to meet Pale’s bleached pupils. And tripped on the delicately wrapped bow of a small, white box set at the bottom of the mountain.

“I saw.”

Template was frozen. He scrambled up, cautiously approaching and lowering himself onto the couch a safe distance away from the other skeleton, thinking that he must’ve imagined the voice. His skull was flushed from both shock and the fall.

“H-huh?” He eventually managed to respond, albeit a bit lamely.

“I saw it,” Pale simply said with uncharacteristic shyness, meeting Template gaze with those piercing eye-lights, temporarily flickering away. His skull graced with a shocking, albeit near imperceptible, blush. Template was speechless, feeling his own skull warming with color. “Thank you.”

“Huh?” Template had achieved his goal. He had no idea what to do next. These rare words, he hadn’t heard Pale speak this many at a time without the help of paint in…Ever. Yet the only thing he could really register in that instant was the mesmerizing, prismatic dusting on the white skeleton’s cheekbones, his breath hitching in his throat as he realized their sudden closeness. Template had never truly understood the meaning of subtlety until that moment, but now, seeing the soft shading of color contrasting the rest of the faded skeleton, it really was subtle yet effective.

Pale placed his teeth onto Template’s cheekbone, successfully searing the bright yellow blush into the taller skeleton's skull with a quick peck.

Template officially stopped working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know if I reread this or not so take my shit thanks.


	4. The HOOMANS group chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frisk = FRisKUS  
Chara = TryME  
Kris = IdiotBaby  
Sans = KEESHUP  
Underswap Sans = Adoraberry  
Underswap Papyrus = Honnney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what this is just take it thanks

FRisKus: AYYEEEEE WASSUPP BICHEESSS

TryME:…

IdiotBaby: You’re like nine wtf frisk?!

FRisKus: I freed an entire underground civilization with nothing but the power of my soul you dun get to judge me

TryME:…

IdiotBaby: Hey at least I got out alive and made tons of friends

TryME: You people are really rubbing this in my face aren’t you?

FRisKus: Uhh you helped I guess? Hey it’s not my fault you’re traumatized and died from your plan. You’re like years older than me and you’ve been dead for ages.

TryME:…Fuck you Frisk

FRisKus: Is that an invitation??? ;)

IdiotBaby: You’re both disgusting in your own respective ways can we get to important stuff now?

TryME: And they say I’M evil and insane

FRisKus: *Wriggles eyebrows*

TryME: *brandishes knife*

IdiotBaby: Are you ignoring me? ;-;

FRisKus: Whaaa no

TryME: you put me in a bad mood…I feel murdery

IdiotBaby: WAIT NO I”M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING CARE OF YOU GUYS

FRisKus: Chara nuuuuu

TryME: Chara yes~

FRisKus: Kris we fucked up they’re gonna kill someone

IdiotBaby: It’s your fault

FRisKus: BUUUTT the adults always blames it on the elder. I’m only nine what do they expect from me?

IdiotBaby: You freed an entire underground civilization with nothing but the power of your soul.

FRisKus: We’re wasting time

FRisKus: I’ma add Sans he’s a responsible adult right? (That and he killed me so many times it’s not even funny he should be able to stop Chara)

** _FRisKus added KEESHUP to the chat_ **

KEESHUP: why am I here?

FRisKus: IT”S ALL KRIS’ FAULT

KEESHUP: How many times ave I told you not to blame demons humans for your actions

IdiotBaby: Chara’s feeling murdery what do I do

KEESHUP: You kill them

FRisKus: uhh they can’t reset anymore

KEESHUP: exactly

IdiotBaby: wait no Chara looks too much like me for comfort

KEESHUP: I’m only kidding kid. Tori would’ve been so mad at me. Plus, I dun want frisk resetting just to bring them back again

FRisKUS: shoot i just saw their smiley face outside of my window

IdiotBaby: ?!

KEESHUP: WAIT KID I’M COMIN

FRisKUS: Holy shit their holding a dead body I think they killed the rude human from the grocery store

KEESHUP: WE CAN’T LET TORIEL SEE THIS

IdiotBaby: I should probably tell her right now

IdiotBaby: You’re both crazy.

FRisKus: HOLY SHIT CHARA IS COMING IT THROUGH THE WINDOW IT’S DARK AND CREEPY OUTSIDE SEND HELP

IdiotBaby: hey at least you can still reset and stuff

IdiotBaby: it won’t be that bad if you die

IdiotBaby: …

IdiotBaby: Helloooo?????

IdiotBaby: shiz did you actually die

IdiotBaby: I’m tempted to spam cat memes but it seems a bit inappropriate for this situation.

IdiotBaby: Did you both die?

IdiotBaby: i’m gonna tell Toriel

IdiotBaby: JK I’m just gonna add the Swap bros

** _IdiotBaby added Adoraberry and Honnney to the group chat_ **

Adoraberry: MWEHEHE

Honnney: wassssssssssup

IdiotBaby: I think Classic might need your help

Adoraberry: THE MAGNIFICENT BLUEBERRY CAN AND WILL HELP ANYONE IN NEED OF ASSISTANCE!

Honnney: What did he do

IdiotBaby: So basically

IdiotBaby: Frisk mad Chara mad and Chara killed their neighbor or something and crawled in through the window.

Adoraberry: WELL WHERE WERE THEY PLANNING ON HIDING THE BODY?

IdiotBaby: I think Sans and frisk might both be dying

Honnney: Annnnnd why are you not there helping them

IdiotBaby: it’s literally murder I thought adults were supposed to handle that stuff

IdiotBaby: you know like taxes?

Honnney: RESPONSIBLE adults deal with murder and taxes.

IdiotBaby: So are we going to just ignore the fact that Blue had asked where they planned on hiding the body…?

IdiotBaby: Wait where even is blue anyway

Adoraberry: OH I’M RIGHT HERE!

Adoraberry: SORRY, I JUST HAD SOME THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF. YOU KNOW, HELPING AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF OUR HUMAN WITH THE ENDEAVORS THEY HAD CHOSEN TO PARTAKE IN…

Honnney: There’s nothing wrong with what he asked, kris.

Honnney, see he’s just tryna help everyone!

IdiotBaby: I’m pretty sure he just helped Chara bury the body

Honnney: see? Helping everyone

Adoraberry: THEY WERE STRUGGLING WITH WHERE TO PUT THE DEAD HUMAN.

FRisKus: Hiiiiiiii

KEESHUP: okay everyone in this group chat is sworn to secrecy

IdiotBaby: …what happened with you

FRisKus: Chara got it out of their system… Blue helped us hide the body 

FRisKus: honestly I didn’t really want to do another reset for legal stuff

KEESHUP: nobody tells tori thanks

Adoraberry: OBVIOUSLY I SHALL BE THE BEST SECRET KEEPER AMONGST US

Honnney: You’re gonna owe me five bottles of honey for this

Honnney: where is chara anyway?

FRisKus: They’re right nest to me, eating chocolate.

KEESHUP: welp lets clear the chat. Case closed. Nobody ever speaks of this again.

IdiotBaby: …sure I guess…

FRisKus: soooo you wanna play some video games???F


End file.
